Journal of Tod P. Quasit for February 9th
So far, despite mighty temptation, I have not attempted to use the ZAP, the Rage dust, the Total Chaos. I have to talk to Zin again to ascertain the proper way of taking the drug and the proper dosage.
On February 9th we delved once again into the depths of the Undercity. Vito and Sprat were no shows again. I fear they have gotten themselves into something over their heads and we won't see them again until spring. Velvet was missing, so Tyrriel decided to go it alone. I of course couldn't leave Jibber alone. Last time that happened he tried converting an entire brothel and was left for dead in a barrel out by the river. Caryatid and Ylil joined us again which was awesome. So there were seven of us.
We live in complete and utter fear of bees.
We found the old seat of government for the ancient city. Indeed. We found the bank. At first it seemed the bank was completely looted, but in a false bottom drawer we found a key that was identical to the key that was stuck in the vault door. Gulleck had the bright idea of locking the vault and then removing the key that was there and trying the new one. Wowser! It worked. He's a whole lot smarter then he looks.
There, instead of the looted vault, was an empty room except for a pedestal and on top of the pedestal was a lock box. Gulleck ran up to grab the box but Tyrriel screamed for him to stop. She smelled a trap. And then we spent the better part of three hours discussing how to proceed. The thief actually discovered the box was on some sort of pad on the pedestal. I figured the pad was just being held down by the box, but when i went to hold the pad down, I noticed it actually had some downward give. Back to the drawing board. We finally decided to just tie a rope around it and pull it out of the vault with everyone outside. A cage came crashing down. It would have killed me where I had been standing a moment before and the box was still inside it. We managed to pull the cage up and get the box out. The thief tried to pick the lock but failed. Gulleck finally succumbed to his need for greed and broke open the box while I supervised. Suddenly we were chocking on poison gas. I nearly died. That was twice in as many minutes. After much retching, we didn't die and found the box was full of jewels. Priceless jewels. Actually, not priceless, but very valuable. Success.
Then we went into the Hall of Records and looted a fountain full of coins until I because absolutely overwhelmed by guilt for stealing the wishes of long dead children. After I returned the coins, we started finding cool things on the shelves. I felt a wash of dizziness and suddenly I understood the intricate workings of the ancient Idalium bureaucracy. Forms led to files. Files led to other files. More forms. More files. Until I finally found what I was looking for, a wand confiscated from a wizard who was abusing its power by scaring old ladies to death after somehow getting himself written into their wills. Tyrriel found a cool scroll. Plus we found lots of documents for Zin. And we found a seed cake that says "EAT ME" in nuts, and a vile with a note that says "DRINK ME". This is going to be drate.
We killed some orcs, ignored some bandits until they left, and helped some gnomes find their way home. We are, after all, at long last, truly The Proper Authorities. And so, we went back out the Rusty Lantern, paid a hefty tax, but still cleared quite a bit of money and some very nice things.
I have to go. Jibber and I are meeting Velvet and a person who Jibber met at his last intervention at The Level Field. They are having a roasted meat special. Velvet likes her meat. Apparently.