Session date: Monday, June 11, 2018
Game date: Dreaming as the days go by
PCs:
Gulleck Stonefoot, Dwarf 7, hp 41, xp 71030/140000
Caryatid, Magic-user 4, hp 19, xp 19946/20000
Retainers:
Manley "Meat" Smythe, Fighter 5, hp 17, xp 16573/32000
Father Chase Pike, Cleric 3, hp 13, xp 4129/6000
Gulleck, Caryatid, and their retainers found themselves walking on their own through the woods, Simon and Adrien strangely absent. Perhaps they had remained back with T. Diumm and T. Deeous? The dark trail led east through the forest for about 500 feet before splitting into three separate trails. The strange twin brothers had told them the crow had flown east, so after considering the three paths, the group decided to continue on the one that more or less continued to the east. They passed several more branches of the trail but continued on what seemed to be the main trail until they reached an open clearing a few hundred feet across. The grassy ground was littered with enormous feathers in many colors: black, yellow, green, red, and blue. As the adventurers looked around the clearing in search of the giant crow or its nest, a hideous shrieking and squawking came from the trees on the periphery of the clearing. An enormous and bizarre bird emerged from the woods. It was over 9 feet tall and brightly colored like a macaw (not that any of the PCs would recognize a macaw!).
"AAAAAWK! WANNA SNACKER! JUBJUB!" the bird squawked as it flapped towards the adventurers. Caryatid made to cast a spell at it but it gave her a sideways glance. "AAAAWK! TAKE A KNEE! JUBJUB!" Caryatid found that her legs moved against her will and she was forced to bow to the ground.
The beast descended upon Meat and battered him with claws and beak, but Meat drew his sword and slashed the bird viciously across the breast, knocking it off him. It recovered and flapped back into the air, readying for another strike.
Gulleck drew her axe and ran forward to meet the Jubjub bird as it descended, but as it flew down for another attack on Meat, it rudely shrieked at her, "AAAAAWK! SIT AND SPIN! JUBJUB!" And Gulleck found her charge interrupted as she stumbled to a half and staggered dizzily.
Meat struggled with the bird as it tore at him with its talons. Gulleck soon recovered her composure and charged the bird, embedding her magical axe into its lower back. It shrieked and fell out of the air and was still. Meat stumbled back, nursing his wounds. Caryatid wanted a trophy from this rude and horrible bird, so she walked up to it to pluck a feather from it. Sadly, however, it transpired that the beast was merely feigning death, and as Caryatid approached it lunged at her and bit her savagely in the side. Caryatid fell to the ground with exactly 0 hit points!
Father Chase hit the bird with his staff of withered wood but nothing seemed to happen. Gulleck attempted to jump on the back of the bird and ride it, but rolled a 1 and managed to leap over it and faceplant on the ground. The bird in turn half ran, half flew shrieking into the woods to the west. Father Chase murmured a healing prayer over Caryatid's wounds and she regained consciousness and staggered to her feet.
Collecting themselves, the adventurers attempted to track the wounded Jubjub bird into the woods. It was relatively easy to do so, as being so large it had broken many branches as it tore through the trees. Varicolored feathers lay scattered on the forest floor. Soon they emerged into another clearing, where the wounded bird stood hunched. When it saw the group it raised an unnerving keening that echoed off the trees that surrounded the clearing. The adventurers ran forward to attack the bird, but suddenly there was a flapping of wings and the clearing was momentarily shadowed by something huge that blocked the sun like a cloud. They looked up to see an enormous black crow, much bigger than the Jubjub bird, descending upon them, talons outstretched.
Caryatid had the clever idea to scare away the crow with a Phantasmal Force spell in the form of a red dragon (which she had seen on their expedition into the mountains over a year ago). She began to cast the spell but the crow slammed into her, knocking her down and disrupting the spell. The rest of the party fell upon the enormous beast, hacking at it with swords and axes. Gulleck hit it for 10 hp, and then Caryatid, still sitting on the grass, cast Magic Missile and rolled the Big Green d30 to do 15 points of damage! Gulleck also rolled the d30 on her next attack and hit for 25, finishing the giant crow off.
Then they turned their attention to the limping Jubjub bird, which glared at Gulleck and shrieked, "AAAAAWK! DO A LITTLE DANCE!" But Gulleck resisted the bird's magic control this time, and then Meat ran over and stabbed it over and over again, making absolutely sure it was dead.
While the adventurers were catching their breaths, who should come huffing and puffing into the clearing but the brothers T. Diumm and T. Deeous! They had seen the giant crow flying over their cottage and heard the sounds of battle. They were delighted to see that their feared nemesis had been slain, and rewarded the party with an unusual magical device that they called a "buckler wand". It was a wooden wand with a sharp metal point on one end and a curved handle on the other end. Heavy pleated canvas was attached to a metal and wooden frame, and when a trigger on the handle was pulled, the canvas snapped open to create a unexpectedly rigid shield about two feet in diameter. Caryatid's pet monkey was the recipient of this clever device.
The brothers asked if the adventurers had found their sword and bag yet. Learning that they had not, they suggested that perhaps the crow had taken them to the Jubjub bird and might be in its nest. The party bid the brothers farewell and returned to the clearing where they had first encountered the Jubjub bird. A bit of exploring and its nest was discovered, a tatty heap of sticks and leaves. Inside the nest was the red bag that T. Diumm had described, and it contained a golden ring, a fishing net, and a couple of embroidered silk cushions. They stowed these safely away and then headed southwest along another trail in search of the sword.
This trail wound through the forest and eventually emerged into another clearing several hundred feet across. This clearing was dotted with a number a strange earthen mounds, each a few feet high and shaped something like the shell of a turtle. The adventurers made their way to the closest mound and saw that there was a sort of burrow leading below it. Before they could explore further, a bizarre and terrible creature emerged from behind one of the other mounds. It was vaguely insect-like, with six pairs of legs, and was perhaps eight feet long. Its head, however, was not like that of an insect, but rather simian in appearance. Sharp teeth glinted as it opened its mouth and spoke with a sibilant, hissing voice.
"Whhhhat have we here?? Isss it lunch?"
"No, I don't think so," said Caryatid. "We're looking for a very special sword. Have you seen it?"
There was a suspicious pause.
"Whoooo wants to know? It'ssss mine."
"Oh, we're, ah, sword inspectors, just doing a census of local magical swords. Can we see your sword? To see if it's the very special one we're looking for?"
"No, it'sss mine. It'sss none of your businessss."
"Oh, well, it's probably not the sword we're looking for anyway," said Gulleck. "I'm sure your sword isn't special at all. Probably just some ordinary sword and not interesting at all."
"You inssssolent creatures! I'll show you it'sss special!" And the strange centipede-like beast rummaged within one of the mounds and pulled out a vicious looking longsword.
"You sssee! But it'sss mine. I stole it from the Jubjub bird fair and sssquare!"
"Oh did you?" said Caryatid. "But we killed the Jubjub bird. So logically that makes it ours now, doesn't it?"
The eyes of the creature narrowed. "I think that makessss you lunch," it snarled, and then it pounced on Father Chase, who fell beneath a horrible flurry of claws and fangs. He screamed and gurgled and then was silent. The creature grabbed him with several legs and held him fast while it exuded an awful sort of silk that bound Father Chase's corpse in bands of webs.
"Father Chase has been snatched and banded," I deadpanned. (Gary Gygax's lame joke straight from the module, not mine!)
"What did you just say?" asked Gulleck's player and then everyone groaned as the penny dropped.
Well, they all leaped into battle with the creature. Meat was also "snatched and banded", although unlike Father Chase he survived the ordeal. He struggled but could not free himself from the cocoon of silk. Caryatid tried to cast a Sleep spell but it had no effect on the bandersnatch whatsoever. But then Gulleck dove to the ground to retrieve the magical sword they had tricked the bandersnatch into showing them.
As soon as her hand closed on the hilt she felt a powerful mental presence emanating from the sword and overwhelming her own mind. A voice shouted out from the sword.
"Snicker-snack! Snicker-snack! I'll cut off your heads if you don't take me back!"
Gulleck could barely manage to speak, such was the overwhelming dominance of the sword within her mind, but she managed to make out, "That what we plan to do, but right now can you help us deal with this horrible abomination?"
Gulleck's arm darted forward without her volition, dragging her stumbling towards the bandersnatch, and the sword flashed upwards and then down at the beast.
Gulleck's player rolled a 19, which for a vorpal sword means an instant kill.
"SNICKER-SNACK!" The bandersnatch's head rolled across the meadow.
"Now take me back to my master," commanded the sword.
"We will," said Gulleck, "but first... hey, you got a name?"
"I am Laprov," said the sword.
"Of course you are," said Gulleck's player, realizing the joke.
"My purpose is to help my master smite chaos in all its forms, and you are wasting time. Return me to him now."
"We'll take you back, but we need to free our employee first." She nodded at Meat. "He can help bring you back faster, if we run into any trouble."
"Very well, but be quick about it. I tire of this conversation already."
So Meat was freed from the webbing, and Father Chase was sadly left behind as the group headed back to the north. They passed a little stream and what looked like a small shop on the bank, but the sword tugged Gulleck's arm to the northeast and dragged her towards the cottage of T. Diumm and T. Deeous.
When they arrived at the house, they were surprised to find two hobgoblins arguing with T. Diumm and T. Deeous. Next to the hobgoblins were four scruffy urchins, looking around with alarm and confusion.
"It's not our fault we're here! We were just assigned to watch these annoying children and then everything went crazy. Something must have happened to the King."
"Oh, it's the children!" piped Caryatid. "You can come with us!"
The hobgoblins turned to look at the adventurers.
"Well, you can have the brats, but you need to get us out of here as well. I'm sure this is all your fault."
T. Deeous was delighted to have his magic sword back, and Gulleck was rather glad to get rid of it. They also returned T. Diumm's red bag of things. And then the now larger group headed back to the banks of the stream to investigate the shop. The hobgoblins grumbled as they went, but wanted to tag along in hopes of returning to their own world.
The shop turned out to be full of all sorts of interesting things on shelves, but whenever they tried to focus on a particular item, it always seemed to be on the next shelf over. The shopkeeper, an oddly sheep-like woman, watched them with wry amusement.
"May I help you?"
"Well, do you have any maps?"
The woman reached behind the counter and pulled out a map of an unfamiliar land, labeled "Scotland".
"I actually meant a map of this area we're in right now."
"I'm afraid not, my dear."
They couldn't find anything useful in the shop, so they left and started walking downstream along the brook. Soon they came upon a large rowboat. Everyone piled in and the hobgoblins were persuaded to row ("Look, we'll do the fighting and you do the manual labor, all right?"). They traveled some ways between banks lined with rushes and eventually came to another grassy shore, where they pulled the boat up and disembarked. They were in another grassy field that led east, but very soon they came to an enormous brick wall, at least 50 feet high, and spanning the entire width of the meadow, over 100 yards. Atop the wall, peering down at them, was an enormous egg, but with arms, legs, and a haughty face!
"That's the biggest egg I've ever seen," cried Meat.
"It's very provoking," shouted Humpty Dumpty, "to be called an egg!"
Like everyone else in this land, Humpty Dumpty was gratuitously rude to them. He told them the "way out" was to the east, beyond the wall, but would he let them pass? Absolutely not.
Well, to make a long story short, Caryatid sent Marcel the flying capuchin monkey up to Humpty Dumpty, and Marcel gave him a big shove, causing him to lose his balance and topple forward, falling fifty feet and shattering into a jumbled pile of broken eggshell at the base of the wall. I think everyone felt a little guilty about that.
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