Saturday, March 30, 2019

Idalium Game 98: T. Diumm and T. Deeous

Session date: Monday, June 4, 2018
Game date: Dreaming as the days go by

PCs:
Gulleck Stonefoot, Dwarf 7, hp 41, xp 70930/140000
Caryatid, Magic-user 4, hp 19, xp 19846/20000
Simon Sackwell, Halfling 4, hp 15, xp 8697/8000
Adrien, Fighter 3, hp 9, xp 7664/8000

Retainers:
Manley "Meat" Smythe, Fighter 5, hp 17, xp 16523/32000
Father Chase Pike, Cleric 3, hp 13, xp 4079/6000
Orin, Elf 1, hp 4, xp 1780/4000
Jack, Thief 3, hp 10, xp 2461/4800

"You have done well to get this far, travelers. Now you must face your final challenge. Defeat me in mortal combat and you will be victors of the game. But be forewarned, I do not intend to die easily."

So spoke the lamia that was the white queen of this strange chess game, the sun gleaming on her silver crown and chainmail. The adventurers felt oddly refreshed and unhurt, although they also noticed that Orehoe was again absent from their party without anyone having noticed her leave.

The battle began, and immediately turned ugly. The lamia cast an uncomfortable gaze upon Gulleck, and with a smirk said, "Come stand beside me and defend me, my dear." Gulleck totally failed her saving throw and her face went blank as she turned to face her own comrades, her magical axe glinting in the sun. And then everyone managed to roll 1s on their attacks, dropping their weapons and tripping over their own feet all over the place. The lamia's longsword slashed through the air while the adventurers scrambled to retrieve their weapons. Jack leaped up to a low hanging tree branch and scampered into the cover of the foliage.

The battle was a bit dicey without Gulleck, but Adrien managed to deal some substantial damage with the Goblin King's scintillating "disco sword", and Orin finished off the lamia with a well-placed arrow.

"Well fought," she acknowledged through gritted teeth. She slumped to the forest floor, and her body was engulfed in a cloud of smoke. When it cleared, all that remained was her silver crown and the ermine-lined cloak she had been wearing. This latter item proved to give a remarkable feeling of security and protection when worn, and pleased with their victory spoils, the group proceeded to the south, out of the strange chessboard landscape.

An obvious trail led through the dense woods to the south and quickly turned to the left. Every couple of hundred feet or so, there was a signpost with two painted boards, one labeled "T. Diumm" and the other marked "T. Deeous". Both signs pointed in the same direction however, and continued to do so with each signpost. Soon they emerged into a wide clearing in the woods, where a little cottage stood beneath an immense tree. One last signpost pointed at this cottage, and in front of it stood two bizarre men, as still as waxworks. They were short and plump, and wore nearly identical outfits of short breeches and grubby shirts. They stared back at the party with a haughty gaze.

Gulleck chanced a word. "Pardon me, gentlemen, but..."

"Who do you suppose this rag-tag lot is?" interrupted the man on the left, looking at his twin.

"Haven't the foggiest, old chum. Mayhap they'll bugger off."

"Now, just a..." tried Gulleck.

"Shall we speak to them?" interrupted the first man, still ignoring Gulleck.

"Only if we must... they do appear a stupid lot!"

"Now there's no need to be ru..." ventured Gulleck.

"WHY DON'T YOU GO BOTHER THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER?" shouted the two men in unison, drowning out Gulleck. Both of them shot an arm up, pointing down a forest trail that left the clearing to the northeast.

"Fine with us," said Simon. "Let's not waste our time with these jerks."

"Rude!" chided Gulleck as the party left the two men alone in the clearing and headed down the trail.

As they walked through the woods, they began to hear the familiar sound of ocean waves on a shore, and the smell of the sea became noticeable in the air. Soon they emerged from the woods onto a wide sandy beach. Ahead of them, the sea glittered brightly in the sunlight, stretching out to the horizon. Walking along the shore were a pair of strange creatures. One looked like a walrus (not that any of the adventurers knew what a walrus looked like!) that walked upright on its stubby, flipper-like feet! Walking next to him was a man dressed in denim overalls. The pair spotted the party, and began waving and calling to them to come down to the shore, seeming very friendly.

The adventurers made their way down to join the odd creatures on the beach. The pair were effusively friendly in their greeting.

"Welcome, friends! Are you travelers who have lost your way, or are you perhaps come to seek treasure from the sea?"

"Well," considered Gulleck, "a bit of both, to tell you the truth. We're not at all sure how we got here. But we are always interested in treasure."

The Walrus and the Carpenter exchanged glances with a smile.

"Well then," said the Walrus in a rich, plummy voice. "I wonder if you'd be interested in helping us settle a grudge, and earning yourself a nice reward in the process?"

"You see," explained the Carpenter, "my friend and I were diving for oysters in this very sea, and some senile old wizard showed up and told us they are *his* oyster beds! Cursed us, didn't he?"

"And now the merest touch of ocean water is unbearable to us," mourned the Walrus, a large tear rolling down his whiskery cheek.

"It's not even like he was using them!" blurted the Carpenter. "So if you'd be willing to head out there and bring us back some oysters, we could all have a nice lunch and get back at him all at once! And some of the oysters have pearls inside then, you know."

"You'd be welcome to keep any pearls you find," offered the Walrus.

"Well, we wouldn't be averse to one or two ourselves, if you could find it in your heart to share," said the Carpenter.

"What about this wizard?" asked Simon. "Won't he curse us?"

"Oh no," said the Carpenter. "He up and left. That's the worst part: cursed us and took off on holiday!"

So the party agreed to swim out and fetch some oysters and were offered the use of a weathered but sturdy rowboat. Caryatid decided it was such a nice day that she decided to simply swim out into the bay by herself, after leaving her backpack and boots on the beach. Some distance from the shore, she peered into the water and could see that the ocean bed beneath her was littered with oysters in various sizes, from ordinary to almost a foot across. The seabed seemed to form a sort of underwater ridge, and the larger oysters seemed more numerous deeper down. She called back to shore, and Marcel her flying monkey was sent out to her carrying a burlap sack.

Caryatid held her breath and dived down to the field of oysters, opening her eyes as much as she could underwater and reaching for any oyster she could grab. Her hand closed on a shell, and she rose back to the surface, handing the oyster to Marcel. She dove several more times, returning with a large oyster and then a giant oyster. At this point Marcel's bag was full, and they returned to the shore. The oysters were pried open and the largest one contained an enormous pearl! This roused everyone's interest and they discussed ways to make this more efficient.

The Walrus and the Carpenter offered the use of a weathered but sturdy rowboat that was beached some ways up the shore. Gulleck removed her armor and she, Caryatid, and Orin took the rowboat out, bringing with them several ropes that were attached to sacks filled with sand from the beach. When they got to the oyster field, the boat was maneuvered above the deeper portion of the ridge, where the largest oysters were most numerous. The ropes were tied to the boat and the other ends with the sandbags were dropped down into the water. Orin stayed in the rowboat to make sure it didn't drift and that the ropes didn't come loose. Gulleck and Caryatid entered the water, held their breaths, and descended, using the ropes to pull themselves down as far as they could go, groping with their hands in the dim and blurry water for the largest oysters they could find. They surfaced with their oysters and Orin helped heave them into the rowboat.

Twice more they repeated this, bringing back more giant oysters, but on the fourth dive Gulleck was feeling along the ridge for an oyster when suddenly an enormous clam opened its shell and clapped shut on her leg! Gulleck thrashed in the water, trying to pull her foot free. Caryatid, somewhat higher on her rope, heard the bubbles and disturbance of the water, and looked down through the water to see Gulleck struggling some depth below. She quickly shot back to the surface of the ocean, and held on to the rowboat with one hand while using the other hand to trace the mystical sigils of the Magic Missile spell. A glowing golden arrow appeared at her shoulder and she ducked her head back underwater, peering through the gloom for the clam in order to let the arrow fly. It shot down into the water, leaving a trail of golden light behind it and the clam rocked with the impact. Meanwhile, Gulleck (rapidly running out of air) took the direct approach and punched the clam inside its shell with her Gauntlets of Ogre Strength. The clam's grip on her foot immediately loosened and she was free. Gulleck pulled the giant clam up from the sea bed and soared back up to the rowboat, gasping for breath when she broke the surface.

The trio returned to the shore, to the applause of the Walrus and the Carpenter, who had been busy started a small cooking fire on the beach and boiling some ocean water in an iron pot. The oysters were pried open, and two more large pearls were obtained. Then they all had a lovely lunchtime feast of boiled oyster and clam meat. There was bread and butter, pepper, and vinegar, and everyone enjoyed the feast.

When everyone had eaten their fill, the adventurers asked the Walrus and the Carpenter if they knew of any way out of this strange land.

"Hmm," mused the Walrus. "You should probably seek out the Red and White Queens, at the Manor House beyond the woods." And so the party bid their farewells to this odd pair, and headed back into the woods.

[DM's note: I'm not quite sure the whole diving sequence was remotely plausible. I've been snorkeling before and found it quite difficult to dive any distance, even with fins and mask, and of course opening one's eyes in ocean water seems like it would be quite difficult too. Still, I would rather err on the side of an entertaining set piece rather than ruling that it's flat-out impossible, and besides, we *were* in a surreal dreamland here.

It turns out the Carpenter (actually a high level thief) easily pickpocketed the pearls away from the adventurers during their picnic, replacing them with a bag of ordinary pebbles, but as luck would have it the players never thought to check on their pearls afterwards and never noticed the substitution!]

The adventurers returned to the cottage of T. Diumm and T. Deeous, and the twins were still standing outside where they had left them.

"Oh, it's you again," said T. Diumm, much more friendly than before.

"How do you do?" nodded T. Deeous. "Any chance you're here to get our treasure back? Might be a reward in it for you!"

He went on to explain that a hideous giant crow had stolen his favorite sword and a red bag with some of his brother's belongings, and flown east into the Tulgey Wood. The group agreed to retrieve the items, especially since they apparently needed to pass through the woods anyway.

"Oh jolly good! But, beware the Jubjub bird, and shun the frumious Bandersnatch!" warned T. Diumm.

"The what?" asked Gulleck.

"Oh, you don't want to tangle with them. Nohow!" said T. Deeous.

"Contrariwise, if you do, just make sure you survive!" advised T. Diumm.

And the adventurers turned away from the strange brothers and headed east into the dark Tulgey Wood.

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Idalium Game 97: The Garden of Live Flowers

Session date: Monday, May 14, 2018
Game date: Dreaming as the days go by

PCs:
Gulleck Stonefoot, Dwarf 7, hp 41, xp 70930/140000
Caryatid, Magic-user 4, hp 19, xp 19846/20000
Simon Sackwell, Halfling 4, hp 15, xp 8697/8000
Adrien, Fighter 3, hp 9, xp 7664/8000
Orehoe Hüfflestüff, Elf 1, hp 3, xp 1177/4000

Retainers:
Manley "Meat" Smythe, Fighter 5, hp 17, xp 16523/32000
Father Chase Pike, Cleric 3, hp 13, xp 4079/6000
Orin, Elf 1, hp 4, xp 1780/4000
Jack, Thief 3, hp 10, xp 2461/4800

The adventurers stood blinking in the unexpected daylight. Something very strange had happened indeed. Having slain the Goblin King, and fled the mazelike corridors of his palace, they now found themselves not in the subterranean caverns below Idalium, but outside on a neatly manicured lawn. And somehow, Orehoe was with them, as if she had been there all along, although everyone was sure she had not. The grass rolled gently to what they decided to call the east, for lack of any other orientation, where a well-tended flower garden was laid out. Something seemed odd about the perspective of the garden, as if it were either much closer than it seemed or perhaps the flowers were much larger than they ought to be. As they walked across the lawn towards the garden, rolling their plundered barrels of coins in front of them, it turned out to be the latter case.

Tidy gravel paths were laid out in orderly rings between neatly-trimmed hedges, and in the center of the formal garden the paths came together where four flower beds contained a number of enormous flowers, taller than any of the party members. Upon closer examination, the adventurers saw that the petals of the flowers gleamed as though made of mother-of-pearl. In the center of the blooms, enormous gemstones glittered and sparkled in the sunlight. The leaves below the blossoms likewise glittered as though gilded with gold and silver. Even in these bizarre circumstances, the adventurers could not help but have their attention drawn to potential treasure.

Suddenly, one of the flowers (a tiger-lily) twisted on its stem to turn towards the group.

"Ugh, what are you doing in OUR garden? And what sort of horrid flowers are you, with your dull petals and drab leaves? Ugh, so wretched!"

"Oh, and they smell terrible, too!" a rose chimed in. "They must be some sort of stinkweed! Or skunk cabbage perhaps?"

Gulleck tried to ignore the abuse and talk politely with the flowers, trying to ascertain where they had found themselves. But the flowers were impertinent and seemed to stubbornly refuse any sort of proper conversation, continuing to heap abuse on the adventures while the rest of the flowers sent up a continuous stream of shrill giggles and cackles.

"Why don't you just leave, already! Oh, you'd better not be thinking of planting yourselves here in OUR beds!"

"Oh no!" wailed a violet. "I'd sooner be plucked than have to share a bed with that pale sickly flower! Look at that dreadful little weed!" It looked pointedly at Orin as it said this.

Orin had by now had enough, and cast a Sleep spell on the irritating flowers. Three of them stopped giggling, and their blossoms drooped down.

"What!? How dare you!" shrieked the tiger-lily. "Help! Help!" A cacophony of shrieks and rude noises erupted from the flowers. Moments later, a loud, low buzzing filled the area, and an enormous bumblebee bobbled through the air into the group. Before he could react, the bumblebee stung Orin in the arm and he fell to the ground, at first writhing in pain and then still and silent. The others drew weapons and attacked the bumblebee, but as they did another bumblebee clumsily flew in from behind a hedge. Gulleck and Simon were attacked by the bees but fortunately dodged both stingers, and quickly enough the party dispatched the two bumblebees.

Orin was down to exactly 0 hit points, so I let his player make a 1d4-1 roll to see recover hit points during this lull in the combat. It turns out Orin had only briefly passed out due to shock and he grimly pulled himself to his feet, just as another bumblebee arrived, along with three enormous ants, each about three feet in length. Gulleck killed the bee,  and Adrien injured one of the ants, but then yet another bumblebee and another three ants came in from the other side of the garden. This was clearly an untenable fight, and one that they hadn't really wanted in the first place, so they decided to run. As a parting shot, Gulleck swung her axe and hacked off a glittering leaf from the violet ("Oh how dare you! You awful, terrible, disgusting creature!") and then they all ran off to the south. Orehoe was overtaken by an ant and savagely bitten in the ankle, bringing her down to exactly 0 hit points, but Father Chase was quick to heal her with his sacred staff of healing, and they all ran away, pursued by giant ants and bumblebees. There were a few more ant bites, but none that prevented their escape, and the insects stopped pursuing them when they reached the edge of the formal garden. As they ran south across the grass, they could hear the howling laughter of the giant flowers growing fainter behind them.

Now they found themselves at the top of a hill overlooking a great expanse of countryside. There were a number of tiny little brooks running straight across it from side to side, and the ground between was divided up into squares by a number of little green hedges, that reached from brook to brook. The squares seemed to alternate between open fields and dense wooded thickets in a way that gave the impression of an enormous green chessboard. A path led down the hill in front of them, zigzagging back and forth in switchbacks, and the party began to descend, but in the strangest way all their walking did not seem to advance them down the path at all. Something very strange was going on. Simon tried walking backwards but that only looked silly. Gulleck tried to leap down to where the path zigzagged back below them, but try as she might all she could manage was to jump in place. They tried running and that seemed to move them a little, albeit very slowly, and eventually they tried running as fast as they absolutely could. The world seemed to blur around them and when they stopped running they found that they were at the bottom of the hill, not far from the first little brook that marked the boundary of the great chessboard landscape.

The party crossed the brook, and made their way across the first open field without event. Then they stepped over another brook and entered a dark thicket. Midway through the woods, they encountered a creature whose lower half was a horse, clad in full barding, painted red, and whose upper half was a man, likewise clad in red plate armor and helmet.

"Halt, strangers!" commanded the centaur. "You are hereby challenged to mortal combat. Fight me, or return the way you came. Make your choice now."

Well, they figured there were nine of them and only one of him, so retreating didn't seem like a serious option. Gulleck hefted her axe and stepped towards the centaur, when he reared up on his hind legs, whinnied, and leapt right over Gulleck, kicking her in the back before she could react. That was momentarily impressive, but then Adrien and Simon stabbed the centaur and he collapsed to the ground.

"Well fought, friends. You may proceed." And he disappeared in a sudden cloud of white smoke.

They moved on, emerging from the woods and crossing a stream into an open meadow, where they confronted a squat dwarf-like man in red chain mail, who issued a similar challenge and was dealt with almost as swiftly. He too vanished in a puff in smoke when vanquished. They crossed through another wooded square and another open field, where they fought another squat fighter, this one in gleaming white chain mail. In the wooded copse in the next square, they were picking their way through a swampy wet area when suddenly a mass of semi-decayed leaves and unidentifiable vegetative sludge rose from the bog. It seemed to be wearing a silver crown on its amorphous head.

"Turn back," it hissed, "turn back or perish."

And Gulleck attacked, slicing into the vines that made up its torso. The strange decaying mound swung a foul-smelling arm at Gulleck and it slammed into her, and then it did the same with the other arm. Gulleck found herself embraced by the horrible rotting creature, pulled deeper into its chest as vines entwined and entangled her.

This was potentially a bad situation for Gulleck, but she resisted the suffocating embrace and managed to break free of the vines that held her. She took a few steps back and recovered her composure, while Simon shot an arrow into the monster, and then Gulleck's axe cut deep into it, and it slumped back into the bog beneath dissipating into a cloud of white mist.

The adventurers moved on, across another open field and into one more copse of trees. This time they were confronted by a very strange creature, somewhat like the centaur. This one had the upper half of a woman, wearing silver chainmail and a crown, but her lower portion was a bizarre hybrid of a goat and a lion.

"You have done well to get this far, travelers. Now you must face your final challenge. Defeat me in mortal combat and you will be victors of the game. But be forewarned, I do not intend to die easily."

And that is where we had to stop for the evening!