Idalium Game 92: The Statue Got Me High

Session date: Monday, February 26, 2018
Game date: Saturday, May 1, 210

PCs:
Gulleck Stonefoot, Dwarf 6, hp 37, xp 36486/70000
Caryatid, Magic-user 4, hp 19, xp 18432/20000   
Simon Sackwell, Halfling 3, hp 11, xp 7329/8000
Orehoe Hüfflestüff, Elf 1, hp 3, xp 908/4000

Retainers:
Manley "Meat" Smythe, Fighter 3, hp 17, xp 6416/8000
Father Chase Pike, Cleric 3, hp 13, xp 3337/6000
Orin, Elf 1, hp 4, xp 1129/4000

In the downtime between delves, Orehoe spent some of her newly acquired wealth to research the Read Magic spell. After two weeks of furious study and the expenditure of 1,000 gold pieces worth of esoteric books and other research materials, she emerged triumphant with a new spell to go along with her Ventriloquism spell. Meanwhile, Simon paid for his retainer Orin to scribe two more Sleep scrolls for his personal use.

The adventurers had only just descended into the buried city below the Rusty Lantern tavern, when they encountered a now-familiar figure, the veiled witch who sold potions and elixirs at the Goblin Market. She was accompanied by a pair of large, dog-like creatures, who growled quietly at the party while she conversed with them in her slightly sibilant voice, offering them a variety of potions. The adventurers balked at the high prices, however.

"Very well," the woman spoke from behind her opaque black veil. "Seek me out on my island in the underground sea, should you change your minds."

The group continued on their way, and in the upper sanctuary of the Temple of Hedonism, they encountered a trio of sketchy looking men; bandits, by the look of them. The two groups traded insults, but it was clear that the ruffians were outnumbered, so they backed down and rudely pushed their way past the adventurers on their way out of the temple. Some time later, Caryatid would discover that one of her magical wands was missing! (I made a pick pockets roll for a 1st level thief, fully expecting the attempt to be detected with hilarious consequences, but I rolled something like 4%!)

The party continued down to the third level, picking up their explorations where they had left off, at a door next to the room where the wererats had made their last stand. They opened the door, revealing a sitting room full of mildewed and tattered old furniture. Three odd statues squatted on stone pillars, bat-like wings folded behind their backs. Examining the statues cautiously, the adventurers noted that one was wearing a pair of jeweled bracelets, and another wore a golden torc around its neck. Meat stepped gingerly forward and reached for the torc, when suddenly the gargoyle sprang to life and swiped at him!

The group jumped into combat with the three bizarre creatures, which lifted themselves into the air on slowly flapping stone-like wings. Orin tried a Sleep spell with no affect, and Meat landed a devastating blow (a natural 20!) with his sword that unfortunately just rebounded off the chest of the gargoyle with an echoing CLANNNNNNG! Meat dropped his useless sword to the ground and borrowed Gulleck's magical "second best axe".

Gulleck, meanwhile, had ripped a vicious wound in the side of one of the gargoyles, and a dark gray sludge, like wet cement, came pouring out. Caryatid shot another one with a Magic Missile spell, and then Gulleck finished her opponent off with another axe strike. Father Chase was slashed badly across his handsome face by one of the gargoyles and retreated into the corner to pray for miraculous healing. Caryatid blasted another gargoyle with a second Magic Missile spell, and Simon used the Big Green d30 to one-shot one of them, and then finished off the third on the next round.

After collecting their breath and the treasure, the adventurers left the room, crossed the large, ornate hall and opened a door on the other side. They entered a dusty, cobwebbed feast hall. A long banquet table stood in the center of the room, still set with tarnished and web-strewn silver plates and goblets. But what drew their attention first and foremost was yet another statue. A tall (maybe eight feet tall) abstract granite sculpture of a man stood next to a chair at one end of the table. The chair was oddly scorched looking, as if burnt in a fire many years ago. The statue held one hand extended towards the chair as if in welcome.

I think most of the players were intimidated by this setup, but Gulleck's player knew a good set piece when he saw one, and Gulleck gamely sat in the chair and took the statue's hand. A brilliant white beam of light shot from its eyes into hers, and then she was engulfed in flame. All the other party members could see was her plate armor, and within that a raging furnace. Then the statue yanked its arm upward, and seemed to fling the column of fire upward into the ceiling, and Gulleck was gone. All that was left was a charred and smoking chair. And then the statue turned slowly towards the rest of the party, arms outstretched, smoke rising from its hands.

Orin started to panic (with his four hit points) and Simon quickly gave him his invisibility ring to stay out of trouble. Orin and Orehoe both scrambled beneath the table to hide. While Simon was distracted, though, he was blasted with a gout of glowing red lava that sprayed from the statue's fingers. He barely dodged out of the way to avoid being hit full on.

Meat ran up and landed a solid blow on the statue, and Caryatid used a Magic Missile scroll to chip away at the granite foe. Simon recovered his bearings and raked his sword across the statue while avoiding another blast of lava.

Caryatid tried to command her magical silk rope to entangle the statue's arm, but this didn't seem too effective, and Father Chase took a blast in the face ("Not the face!") while everyone tried ineffectively to land a solid blow on the statue.

Meat was sprayed again, taking serious damage. Caryatid, somewhat desperate now, cast Sleep but to no effect. Meat was hit again with a full blast of lava to the chest and fell to the ground with a gurgling dying scream.

The next couple of rounds were tense. Simon and Chase had very few hit points left. Caryatid didn't seem to have any useful spells left, and Meat was gone. Simon's player rolled the Big Green d30 to win initiative but both Simon and Chase were unable to do any more damage to the statue. In desperation, Orin and Orehoe used their backs to lift the heavy banquet table a few inches off the ground, and rammed it into the statue, doing a few points of damage. Father Chase then brought his mace smashing down into the neck of the statue, and the internal lava glow faded and it slumped into immobility.

Meanwhile, Gulleck found herself sitting in a chair in a familiar yet different room. It was the same banquet hall, but there were no cobwebs or dust. Torches burned brightly in wall sconces, and the table was set with fragrant meats and vegetables and goblets of wine. Gulleck felt full of new knowledge and wisdom, as if the statue had shown her things that she could only vaguely consciously remember now. (In game terms, she had gone up to level 7!)

As Gulleck looked around, she saw the granite statue standing at the other end of the table, hands outstretched towards her, fingers smoking and spurting orange lava. Flush with new power, Gulleck jumped onto the table, knocking goblets and platters down clattering to the floor, and charged screaming towards the statue, axe raised over her head. Fiery lava sprayed all around her as her ran, spattering on the stone floor and hissing where it fell on the wooden table. She slammed her axe into the statue again and again, while it sprayed her with glowing molten rock. No other party member would have likely survived such a frontal assault, but Gulleck's hit points outlasted the statue's, and within four rounds she finished it off.

Back in the real world, the rest of the adventurers were catching their breath and mourning Meat, when they saw the inert statue suddenly shudder and rock. Then a gauntleted dwarven fist punched its way out through the chest of the statue, and began to pull the burnt-out husk of the statue apart. The other adventurers ran forward to help, and quickly freed a soot-smudged and singed Gulleck from the steaming rubble of the statue.

They gathered up their fallen comrade and hurried back out of the dungeon and up to the surface. Would they bury Meat's body and hire a new retainer for Gulleck? (Although honestly, does Gulleck even need a retainer now?) Would they pay to have Meat raised from the dead at the Great Cathedral? Would they venture into the caves to find the Elixir of Life that could bring a person back to life in a new body? Time would tell!

[A note about this encounter, which was loosely adapted from a song by the band They Might Be Giants (that also gave its title to the title of this session report): This is one of those set pieces you dream up and then wait for months or years for the players to find and you just hope they take the bait. The way it worked is that I kept track of how many rounds it took the party to destroy the statue (a rock living statue, by the way). Then, when we switched to the alternate world with the character that sat in the chair, they would have to survive that many rounds in solo combat against the statue. The exit from the room would turn out to be bricked up if they tried to escape via the door. If they perished in the alternate world, the character would be dead forever with no chance of resurrection. I think it was very lucky for the players that Gulleck was the one to sit in the chair!]