Session date: Monday, April 24, 2017
Game date: Saturday, August 23, 209
PCs:
Gulleck Stonefoot, Dwarf 4, hp 23, xp 14268/17000
Caryatid, Magic-user 4, hp 19, xp 16019/20000
Simon Sackwell, Halfling 3, hp 11, xp 4807/8000
Adrien, Fighter 3, hp 9, xp 4143/8000
Retainers:
Manley "Meat" Smythe, Fighter 3, hp 17, xp 5093/8000
Brother Chase Pike, Cleric 2, hp 11, xp 2159/3000
Orin, Elf 1, hp 4, xp 0/4000
Another meeting of the Infestation Managers, and they were sure of one thing: Caryatid the Green had to be exterminated once and for all. First, she had an actual demon summoned and imprisoned, apparently granting her wishes. Next, she had constructed a hulking artificial man as a bodyguard. Finally, she had magically bewitched half of the urchin children living in the secret passages of the dungeon and was planning who knows what for them. Although the adventurers had always had some degree of sympathy for her (since they were the cause of her very existence) it was evident now that she was too far gone to be allowed to live.
Kevon and Debbi had both taken their earnings from last week and taken the week off. (Possibly Debbi was still sore from being killed by killer bees.) Adrien opted to adventure on her own, but Simon wanted to recruit a replacement retainer, and found a weedy elf named Orin who was willing to join him. And so, having assembled their party, the adventurers paid their toll of one gold daric per person to the guards at the trapdoor in the cellar of the Rusty Lantern tavern and descended into the buried city of Idalium, making straight for the second level.
As they walked down the hall to the Temple of Chance (they wanted to "haze" Orin with a spin on the magic Wheel of Fortune), they heard goblin voices chattering and laughing down the hall. Creeping up to a door, they discovered half a dozen goblins hard at work in what used to be the temple of the orcs. It was now set up as their feast hall, and the goblins were busy hanging tapestries and painting an enormous impression of the Goblin Prince's pompous face on the wall behind the altar, covering up the hideous monstrosity that the orcs had worshipped. The goblins were in surprisingly good spirits, considering the last time the adventurers had met goblins they had been ordered to kill them. Maybe they hadn't identified the adventurers yet.
Gulleck ventured to ask if the goblins had heard anything about Caryatid the Green's activities in the last week. "That witch!?" snapped one of the goblins, spitting on the floor. "She burned a whole bunch of us to soot! The Goblin Prince has ordered that she be killed as soon as possible."
"That's a great idea," said Gulleck, "Why don't you guys go get her right now?"
"Well, we can't do that. We have to paint the feast hall!"
So the group took their leave of the goblins and went to spin Orin on the Wheel of Fortune. The wheel spun round, making a terrible clatter, coupled with Orin's seasick wails, and when he came to a stop they discovered that just like Simon's other retainer Kevon, Orin now puffed multicolor smoke from his ears as he used his brain.
Now, the thing about the very noisy Wheel of Fortune is that every time you spin it, it makes such a racket that it always triggers a wandering monster check. And my players are not always good about remembering to close the door behind them. So, irony of ironies, having come down here to slay Caryatid the Green, whose familiar voice should they now hear behind them?
"Well, well, well. If it isn't my old friends and adventuring companions." Caryatid the Green stood in the doorway, next to her very large companion, "Mister Beefcake", whose eyes stared dully from above the livid stitching on his pallid neck.
"Uh, hi, how've you been?" asked Gulleck cautiously.
"Oh, quite well! I've been having a little pest trouble with those ridiculous goblins, but with my bodyguard here, and my new little friends, I don't think I have much to fear from them."
"Little friends?" asked "Blue Caryatid".
"Oh yes," replied her "twin". "The children who live in the secret passages right behind my apartment. They've been ever so helpful, after we came to an... understanding. I feel like my role in life is expanding. First I felt I was here to seek knowledge and magical power for its own sake. But now I realize that I can be a force for good in this dungeon. With the children at my side, we could rid this level of all of these monsters. And you could help me, too, Gulleck. We could adventure together, like we did in the old days, before that pool created that duplicate of me..." She glared at Blue Caryatid.
"Now, wait..." said Gulleck, "You can't use those children as your army..."
But Green Caryatid was murmuring strange words and Gulleck suddenly felt a wave of doubt and uncertainty across his mind. It passed momentarily, thanks to his excellent dwarven saving throws. Blue Caryatid reacted immediately by launching a magic missile spell at Green Caryatid, and Gulleck lunged forward, giving "Mister Beefcake" a shove to try to knock him down to get to Green Caryatid. Unfortunately, the hulking man stood his ground and Gulleck didn't even budge him.
Simon threw a dagger at the creature, and Meat sank his sword into the monster with a sickening squelch, but it emerged without drawing blood and apparently without harming the creature in the slightest. Green Caryatid spoke new magical words, and then sticky strands of silk shot forth from her fingertips, tangling Gulleck and Adrien up in a huge messy spiderweb.
Blue Caryatid drew forth her whimsically painted "wand of random magic" and pointed it at Green Caryatid. There was a weird ripple of magic in the room, and then large green leaves sprouted out of Green Caryatid's hair and the back of her hands. She stared at her hands in shock and then shouted angrily at Blue Caryatid and the adventurers.
"I only wanted to talk to you! What kind of treatment is this!? Come on, Mister Beefcake, I've had enough of these ingrates!" And she stormed off, followed by the heavy plodding footsteps of her silent bodyguard.
So, after shutting the door this time, the party took about half an hour to hack Gulleck and Adrien out of the web. Then, Adrien decided to take a spin on the Wheel of Fortune. She turned out to be unlucky, quite literally, as she received a -2 penalty to all dice rolls for the rest of the day.
The adventurers decided that it was now or never, and prepared to confront Caryatid the Green at her apartment. First they stopped by the six goblins in the temple again, and tried to stir up some anger against Caryatid, but alas, the goblins seemed happy to stay there and paint. So the group made their way alone to Caryatid's apartment and knocked on the door.
Caryatid was still irritated at the leaves that now covered her skin and grew forth from her hair, but grudgingly accepted an apology from Blue Caryatid and Gulleck. Gulleck suggested an alliance against the Goblin Prince. "Maybe I was hasty in disagreeing with you. Maybe you're on to something with those urchins."
"Yes, that's right," said Caryatid the Green. "With my urchin army at my disposal, we can wipe the goblins clean from this entire dungeon and rule it all under the banner of the Green!"
"Uh, right..." said Blue Caryatid. "Well, why don't we go defeat them now? We don't even need the children, just all of us together, like the old days! What better time than the present?"
"Yes, why not, as long as you are with me! Let us cleanse this place of the foul stench of the Goblin Prince once and for all!"
"Okay, lead on..." said Gulleck, and then made furious urgent gestures with his eyebrows as Caryatid the Green and Mister Beefcake strode from her apartment and began proceeding down the hall.
And so they attacked their former adventuring companion from behind. Caryatid cast another Magic Missile at her twin, while Gulleck and Simon used their magical weapons to attack her enormous bodyguard. This time the axe and sword sang and sizzled as they cut into him, and the creature gave a gutteral snarl as he was injured. Caryatid drew forth her wand again, but this time only made herself go invisible.
Green Caryatid, her face enraged at the surprise betrayal, cast another magic spell, and suddenly the ceiling was dripping with corrosive green slime! It dripped onto armor and clothing and quickly began to eat its way through, seeking the flesh beneath! Gulleck, Meat, Caryatid, and Adrien made saving throws and quickly recognized it as an illusion, but Brother Chase, Simon, and Orin were too caught up in their panic to see it for what it was, and began stripping off their plate mail, throwing it across the hall trying to escape contact with the slime. Even in the midst of combat, Caryatid couldn't resist a quick leer at the sight of her handsome employee in his thin undergarments.
And then Gulleck slammed his axe into the giant, and with a grunt he staggered to his knees and then faceplanted onto the floor. Green Caryatid's face contorted with rage.
"Mister Beefcake!" she shrieked in anguish, and then began intoning a familiar incantation. A bead of fiery light began to gleam at her fingertip, growing in strength...
The players knew that several of them would likely die from a fireball, even if they made their saves, so it was critical that they hit her before she could complete the spell. Caryatid tried using her wand of paralyzation, but Green Caryatid was unfazed by the pulse of sparks that washed past her. Gulleck swung his axe at her but stumbled over the bulky corpse of her creature and missed. And then Orin earned his keep, and threw a dagger that hit for three points of damage, disrupting her spell! Adrien as well hit with her sword.
And now Blue Caryatid waved her wand of random magic a third time today, and what came up on the table was a delusion of a rainstorm, hardly useful at all! Most everyone made their saves, so they understood it was an illusion, but yet it was surreal to see a soundless flash of lightning, followed by a deluge of rain in the dungeon corridor, splashing on the flagstones and trickling away down the hallway. Caryatid couldn't help but notice the way Brother Chase's undershirt grew transparent in the rain and clung to his rugged pectorals, even though she knew none of it was real.
Green Caryatid gazed helplessly at her angry opponents, as the rain drenched her hair.
"Please, Gulleck, it doesn't have to be this way. You and I used to be friends! Before I made the stupid decision to jump in that resurrection pool and it created that copy, that... replicant of me! Gulleck, I remember all of it! I remember the very day we found you in that pit, while we were trying to help the friendly gnomes get their treasure back from the knockers. I remember when we first found this old wizard's apartment, and you hacked that silly talking head out of the door! I remember Tod, and Tyrriel, and even poor old Twiffle. How can you say I'm the replicant when I can remember all these things? I'm real! Please Gulleck, don't do this."
Gulleck found himself hesitating against his better judgment, and his axe lowered by a few inches. The rain beat down on his helmet and trickled into his eyes as he gazed at his old friend.
"Caryatid, I..."
"Gulleck. Please... Spare my life, and together, with my army of urchins, we shall rule over this entir-- urrrrgh!"
Her speech was cut abruptly short as Gulleck, Simon, and Adrien all plunged their weapons into Green Caryatid's body. She fell roughly to the stone floor, the light fading from her eyes as the tears streaking her cheeks were washed away by the same illusory rain that drenched her green and golden robe.
The adventurers dragged Green Caryatid's body into the sitting room of her apartment and then, allowing no chance of her being resurrected, Gulleck beheaded her corpse with his axe. They made a quick search of her apartment. In her study, they found a wooden cage containing a seemingly ordinary goose. Could it really be the one that laid the golden eggs they had found? They also found a potion that when sipped gave them a sense that it could lead them to treasure, and a scroll with two magical spells on it. There was also a tall staff, made of gnarled withered wood, and a pair of boots that could lift the wearer into the air. They also found Green Caryatid's spellbooks.
The goose was cantankerous, but they got it out of the dungeon by having Simon use his animal control ring to keep it docile so Brother Chase could carry it, and then Meat carried Simon on his shoulders back to the surface, since he couldn't break his concentration to walk. Before they left, Caryatid wizard locked the door of the apartment, to make sure no one tangled with the demon that they expected was still imprisoned in the summoning room. But that would have to wait for another time.
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