Session date: Monday, March 25, 2019
Game date: Saturday, May 7, 211
PCs:
Gulleck Stonefoot, Dwarf 7, hp 41, xp 71930/140000
Caryatid, Magic-user 5, hp 24, xp 21092/40000
Simon Sackwell, Halfling 4, hp 15, xp 9894/16000
Adrien, Fighter 4, hp 16, xp 10063/16000
Frosty Beans, Fighter 1, hp 5, xp 1/2000
Retainers:
Manley "Meat" Smythe, Fighter 5, hp 17, xp 17006/32000
Kevon, Fighter 2, hp 8, xp 2000/4000
Moonpetal, Elf 2, hp 12, xp 4676/8000
Our new player came back again the next week (always a vote of confidence), and we had all the regulars. Simon had finally made his save vs spells and shook off the Charm Person that had persisted for months of game time. Down to the third level they went.
On the way, they encountered a pair of fire beetles in the Street of Temples, light glands glowing eerily in the darkness as they approached. The beetles seemed to be minding their own business, but Adrien decided to unleash her mangy giant ferret Norman upon them. She rolled a 1 for Norman's attack, so he missed the beetles completely and slammed into the facade of a temple across the street. The beetles fell upon him in self defense, and he was bit for 5 points. Suddenly things got more serious. Gulleck and Simon scrambled for their rings of animal control, but before they could put them on, Norman was bit for another 9 points, and died gurgling horribly.
Gulleck and Simon seized control of the beetles and they were swiftly killed, but Adrien was distraught at the death of her beloved demon ferret. She cradled his lifeless corpse in her arms and vowed vengeance upon the DM. Then someone had the idea to dip him in the resurrection pool. Hmm... did the pool even work on animals? Its magic was already a bit wonky, as it had a habit of creating magical duplicates of anyone who entered it while still alive. But the decision was made (over Caryatid's objections) to give it a try.
They made it down to the chamber of the pool without incident, and dropped his limp body into the slippery liquid of the pool. Nothing happened for some time, and there was nervous chatter about just leaving his corpse in the pool since nobody wanted to risk getting duplicated by going in after it. But then there was splashing, and Norman's snout broke the surface. He swam to the edge, sputtering and sneezing, and clambered out.
There was something different about him now. He was bulkier, stockier around the shoulders. He had always been mangy and scruffy, but now his patchy fur stood in matted tufts that persisted even after he shook off the liquid of the pool, and his oily skin exuded a faint but constant sickly smell of infection and decay. One eye was continually oozing and crusty.
Nonetheless, Adrien crouched to embrace her pet happily, but Norman was in a foul mood. He snapped viciously at her face, and if not for her finely honed adventurer's instincts, he probably would have torn her throat open. (In other words, his bite did enough damage to kill an everyday human.)
"OK, OK, he's a little grouchy. You would be too if you'd just been bitten to death by giant beetles."
Nobody else in the party seemed enthused about this new "Pet Sematary" version of Norman.
In any event, having taken care of Norman, the party descended to the third level. They briefly stopped in to visit "the Judge". He was horrified by Norman and called him "an abomination", much to Caryatid's satisfaction. They fed him a gemstone and asked him about the north shore of the underground sea. The Judge said that there were natural caverns there, although he had heard reports that a portion of the caves had become overgrown with strange subterranean fungus.
After visiting the Judge, they headed west. They stopped at a nondescript door at the north end of the Queen of Nightmares' palace, and Simon used his mind-reading amulet. He sensed the presence of several bugbear guards. Not feeling up to a big fight just yet, they opted to move on, but Caryatid cast Wizard Lock on the door first, just to annoy the Queen.
They headed north, farther than they had previously mapped, and at the end of a long hallway they found a massive wooden door. It was beautifully carved with motifs of vines and leaves, flowers and tree bark. This must be the door to the gardens they had often heard about!
Frosty attempted to push the door open, but only succeeded in hurting his shoulder. The door was securely locked.
"I take out my skeleton key," said Gulleck's player.
"What skeleton key?" I said.
"My axe."
Gulleck began slamming her axe into the door, over and over again. It was thick and made of solid and sturdy hardwood, and it was slow going. The dull thuds of the axe echoed through the corridor. The beautiful engravings of the door were getting hacked away, and terrible gouges tore through them.
Suddenly, there was shouting on the other side of the door.
"STOP! STOP! What you doing?!!"
Gulleck stopped chopping at the door.
"Well, open up, then!" she yelled back.
"OK, but no funny stuff," said the gruff voice. There was the sound of a key turning in the lock, and then the door was pulled open.
The adventurers squinted as daylight streamed into the corridor. Beyond the door, lush green grass grew up to the threshold. A blue sky shimmered brightly overhead. Across the grassy lawn, they could see a building, apparently made mostly of glass. Standing near the door were a group of four very large men, at least eight feet tall. They looked brutish and stupid, with jutting brows and slack jaws. They wore nothing but crude leather loincloths and jerkins. One carried a cloth sack over its shoulder. They had seen a creature like this a long time ago, in the employ of the Goblin Prince.
The one who had opened the door goggled at the damage Gulleck had inflicted.
"Look what you done! Who's gonna fix that??"
"Well, we had to get in, the door was locked," said Gulleck.
"That's right," said Caryatid, warming to a good session of attempted baffling. "We're the Garden Inspectors. We can't allow anything to interfere with our duty."
"Garden Inspectors?" said the confused creature slowly.
"Yeah!" said Simon, "Let me just find my clipboard..."
"But... but... you need to pay for this damage!"
"Of course we will process any legitimate claim for accidental damages. How much would you assess that at?" said Caryatid soothingly.
"Urrrrrgh... you give us five hundred gold coins."
All of the adventurers laughed quite rudely at that, which made the giant men suspicious and irritated. The conversation went on and on, as everyone tried to befuddle the creatures. They did learn a few things from them. The giant men said they were the caretakers of the garden. When asked who they worked for, they said they didn't work for anyone, but they were the caretakers and they had always been the caretakers, as had their ancestors before them.
Caryatid came up with a surefire plan. "Excuse me, where's the little ladies' room?" She hopped from foot to foot to make her point.
The lead creature (who had said his name was Glurge) pointed to a small copse of trees to the east. The other party members thought he had an odd, crafty look on his face, but they continued their attempt to confuse these dimwitted brutes. Caryatid thanked him brightly and made her way into the woods, taking a moment to look around. This was truly a magical place. There was a high ivy-covered stone wall to the south where they had come in, and at the top of the wall some thirty feet up, she could see the right angle of the ceiling, but somehow the ceiling was also a blue sky pervaded with sunlight. To the north she could see glass greenhouses, and beyond that what looked like a formal flower garden.
Once Caryatid was in the trees she slipped behind a tree and then carefully peered back around, watching the four monstrous men arguing with the rest of her party. The argument seemed to be getting more heated, and it looked like the giants were losing patience with these self-professed "Garden Inspectors". And then Caryatid cast a Sleep spell at the giants.
Unfortunately, her roll was poor and only one of the men fell asleep. He swooned on his feet, said "Urgh" and then dropped to his knees before face planting into the turf. Caryatid made ready to cast another spell, but at that moment she heard a twig snap behind her. She whipped around to see another of the giant brutes reaching towards her and licking his lips.
"Mmmm mmm mmm... you sure look mighty tasty," he murmured, before lunging at her. Caryatid quickly put on her invisibility ring and vanished, but the giant grabbed at the empty space where she had been and managed to find her. He pulled her close to his acrid smelling body, pinned her arms to her sides, and began dragging her invisible form through the trees back the way he had come from.
Now, Caryatid's pet monkey Marcel had been riding on her shoulder invisibly, and in one hand he held the miniature magical spear they had found in the monastery in the mountains so long ago. He stabbed at the giant, and the spear expanded to its full 10' length. He missed, and I ruled that this attack ended the invisibility effect for both of them. Caryatid decided to play dead and went limp in the arms of the monster. Marcel hopped off of her, brandishing the tiny spear at the giant. The man squinted at the monkey, annoyed, and continued to drag Caryatid into a clearing. Caryatid opened her eyes a tiny bit to see a number of large thatched cottages surrounding a large iron cookpot. It was easily large enough to hold a human, and it was steaming from the fire that was crackling away beneath it.
The giant dragged her towards the pot, but before he could do more, Marcel's spear jabbed him. This spear's magic was that its victims were filled with an uncontrollable panic, and the enormous man failed his saving throw, dropped Caryatid roughly on the grass, and fled at full speed past the cottages into the woods to the north. Unfortunately for Marcel and Caryatid, the spear snapped in half at this point.
Caryatid retrieved Marcel and they jogged back to the group by the door. There was a vocal argument going on. The monstrous men were convinced that the adventurers had done something to their sleeping companion. Simon was babbling about how he must have fallen ill and as the "Proper Authorities" they would need to quarantine the garden so that the disease would not spread.
The giant men seemed frustrated and impatient and when they saw Caryatid returning they looked disappointed.
"Just go! You cause enough problems already. Get out!"
And the adventurers took this opportunity to retreat back through the door. Caryatid was the last one through, and as the door was closing behind them she turned and cast Fireball back at the men.
Well, since the door was already closing I made her roll an attack roll to see if she could acccurately target the glowing bead of the fireball through the rapidly narrowing crack. If the roll was too low, the fireball would erupt on the inside of the door, and that would be very bad for all the adventurers. But as it happened, she rolled quite well, and just as the door closed, there was an enormous explosion of light and heat on the other side. The wave of heat buffeted them momentarily before the door slammed shut. They could hear the giant men screaming in shock and pain.
And then they all ran down the hallway, and got the heck out of the dungeon.
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