It is with a heavy heart that I must report the death of our beloved Elf friend and staunch retainer Twiffle. He managed to die not once but twice, and that's better then most. This week he was done in by those most hideous monstrosities we call Knockers. Like deformed and evil gnomes with hearts of coal and souls of fungus.
I suppose it was partially my fault for thinking we could take on a dozen of them. I don't understand it though. We were well armored. They shouldn't have been able to keep hitting us. But they did. And Twiffle is dead. I will drink to his memory when we gather for his wake at The Thumping Pipes. They put on a good buffet there and the taps are usually clean.
Did I mention Jibber died too? Now that's a story. So, we entered the Under City full of confidence and swagger, because we knew we were the Proper Authorities. Our plan was to go through the Temple of Lust to the Under Under City and explore more of the ruins down there. We met another group of people, led by a terrifying woman going by the name of Frost. They had black robes on and fancy medals around their necks. Frost had a very fancy shield. Oh yeh, that reminds me. Enough with the two-handed sword. I'm through with it. I'm switching to a regular sword and I'm going to start carrying a shield. Never seem to hit anything with that two-handed sword anyhow. But back to the story. After a brief but tense encounter, we parted ways. They were just leaving. We met a few gnomes with a sack full of coins. And then we discovered someone had destroyed that beautiful crystal statue that was guarding the way down. Never thought of fighting the thing. I mean, it was a magical miracle of technology and an astounding piece of Art! Oh well.
Then we had to check on the dead rat room. Hah ha!! Full of knockers. Gulleck and I started stood in the door and let them attack us. For some reason they kept going after Gulleck. Maybe I scared them. At any rate, they started hacking away at Gulleck pretty good. He withdrew and Jibber, resplendent in his shimmering plate mail and large pointy hat took his place in the door. I'm not sure how, but those little knockers got through Jibber's plate mail in no time at all and he dropped dead. In my desperation I started smashing deformed Knocker heads together. They just kept coming, and the ones in back kept throwing things at us. It was actually quite impressive. That's when it happened. One of the knockers threw a dead rat at Twiffle and as if his neck was made of the most delicate dry wood, it snapped and Twiffle dropped dead on top of Jibber. After another forty-five minutes, we eventually managed to kill all the knockers without anyone else dying. I mean, they snapped his neck with a dead rat. He must have had some sort of severe calcium deficiency or something right? It was a hell of a shot though. Smack dab right in the face.
Now it was time to race with our fallen comrads to the pool of rebirth. And that's when we ran into the orgy in the temple below. They wouldn't open the door and I couldn't break it down. Finally they let us through, we raced to the pool and dumped Jibber in. After what seemed like a few minutes, he emerged, healthy, happy and apparently enlightened. He just kept smiling. Then we dumped Twiffle in and nothing. Just nothing. Gulleck heroically dove into the pool to retrieve Twiffle's body and when he emerged, he seemed more robust and healthy somehow. So the pool only works once. Good to know.
Our spirit broken and our egos bruised, we took Twiffle's soggy body back to the surface. Once again we had no treasure to show for our troubles, Just sorrow. Twiffle, I didn't really know you, but I will sort of miss you. Adieu.
Gulleck's ninth journal
Ol pointy ears is dead. Damned Knockers killed him. Killed Brother whosit too, but the weird pool brought him back. Guess it only works once each.
Gonna rip those things apart. Hated em before, hate em more now. Vile abominations of everything natural.
More mad humans down below, too. Cultists and lunatics. Why anyone would go down into a bunch of ruins for an orgy I just don't understand. Maybe the sun turns em off or something. Crazy, crazy, crazy.
Death, death, and more death. Last week we resumed our adventures under the city, presumably in pursuit of treasure which has been quite elusive of late. We find creatures, bandits, even orgy-ism-ists, but alas no treasure. New favorite thing to hate: Knockers. These evil bastards simply won’t die fast enough, are nearly impossible to kill, and are FAR too deadly. In an awful fight minutes into our adventuring, We lost Bother Jibber AND Twiffle to the horrible creatures! We managed to revive Brother Jibber but the magic bath could not resurrect Twiffle. I expect to head on over to the magical items auction before we adventure down below again. I’m in the market for Instant-Death-To-Knockers wand, or something similar!